I Hate Halloween
I fucking Hate Halloween.
Ok. I like when kids do it. They are cute no matter what. And it's cool to watch em get excited. Well, its cool until they melt down from sugar od's and start exploding with unskilled rage. But that's not my problem.
I like eating the leftover candy because I'm a fat ass. I once liked TV around Halloween but now local programming (I fondly remember Creature Features on Channel 2) is non existent and I'm not really interested in watching an edited version of "Poltergeist 2" (with commercials for "Build Ford Tough" interspersed) on Fox.
I fucking Hate Halloween.
I dislike extroverts in costume. They become even more needy. If you really want me to look at you then light yourself on fire.
I dislike the dumb ass ideas for costumes (this weeks news, political figures, guys in drag , OJ in any form, Bush in any form, Trench Coat Mafia killers, "smart" costumes like the "Spinning wheel of death" from the mac OSX.)
I hate people who feel they have to role play because they just bought a King Arthur costume at Target. If you call me "Squire" again I'm going to kick you in the nuts.
I dislike drunk people and I hate them more when they are dressed as iPods.
I hate the "It's an ancient Pagan holiday" line. Like a Pagan is no less idiotic and inane than a Christian?
I dislike adults who say "It brings out the kid in me". Yeah, I need to see that. Chances are you were more stupid and annoying when you were young. And you had a chance to be a kid. It was WHEN YOU WERE A KID. Now your just a dick.
I hate "Creative" Arts & Crafts types who make their own costumes. No, I'm not impressed that you can glue glitter to a cone and call it a Wizard hat. Get a job.
I hate the teens that show up on my doorstep after 10 saying "Gimme some candy". Try that shit with me and you will meet my dear friend "The Lil' Fire Extinguisher Filled With Urine"
Do I need to go on?
posted by MBO at 4:03 PM
11 Comments:
ya known i have to agree with you on most of this my friend. i have an 8 year old that is excited about halloween & i do enjoy watching her & her friends getting all the candy & running round looking spooky. i will steal her mike & ikes again this year. but the sad thing is, when we went to the spirit halloween super store to get her costume, i was amazed by how many adults were there buying pimp & ho costumes. stupid trashy assholes. simple sad fucks. but oh so funny each & every time.
i too hate the older kids that stop by after 10 without any costume at all & expect something from me. oh by the way, i also hate christmas.
arbor day is cool though.
...... my daughter is going to be a vampire.
Arbor Day rules.
Vampires rule too.
All this Hate ...?
Curse you Red Baron!
Here's your Creature Feature...
http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=_aZGN0VM2s8
Bob Wilkins is my God.
Yes,so much Halloween Hate.
Actually, I never even think about Halloween. Right now my company is having their famous Halloween costume contest and I'm in my office. It's nice and quiet.
I may be missing out on cupcakes though.
Unless your under 10 Halloween is soooo Gey.
Where was this hate during Ramadan?
WHAT??
c'mon... how could THIS not be good times silicon valley fun?!
/sarcasm
I'm sitting here trying to decide if I stay late at the office to avoid the little beggars knocking at my door, or go home and sit with the lights off and pretend I'm not home.
oh, and I should add... The low-life guy in me does enjoy this new trend of girls using Halloween as an excuse to dress all super slutty.
I was at the bar friday night, and every girl there had their T&A hanging out in some sort of fishnet/bumble bee/spandex/cop/nurse outfit.
That's always nice.
Thank you. If that link doesn't prove my point nothing does.
I think you should go home. Why deprive yourself of an opportunity like spraying your urine on teenagers?
Live a little.
i hate ramadan but love me some top raman.
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